what you give today

I cant believe because almost every day is a terrifying struggle to take the risk, to let anyone in, to take the crazy fun paths, to go for more. Yet then I am quoted by Soph and Bry from interview for the doco.
“I am most afraid of being paralysed by fear. I refuse to live in fear” Solon
in making the work we discover our lives. I wont let go.
I am terrified to feel the love for you, it will tear me open like a spear through the guts. I love you.
Give me time.
This bundle of magic misfits had a special time together to say farewell, but you sit like a hush on our lips.
I love you.
miss you angel. just cant scream for fear it will never stop.
we will find a way.
x
Ulli

sounds like tanja, still

Thankyou Tanja. You continue to inspire me to make things. Music for you and Sol. x Jase

I found this image of us today. I was searching for you so I could see your face and remember the cheeky smiles. I think this one is perfect.
I love you Tanja and I miss you hard today.
All over the world a silence will fall and a breath is taken for you. We all miss you and carry you strongly with us everyday...
Come see me in my dreams soon ok. xxx

pain and light

Tanja. Drowning in noise from my niece and nephew as I write here and think of you... Their gorgeous spirited newness and brilliant ignorance of this pain is such a good reminder that we must push on...nothing like kids for that perspective. I will hold you close as I move onwards and forwards into the future not moving away from you, just along and with you in me.. this being just the first of so many loaded days in every year. I'm thinking of all your lovely friends across the world and your family as they navigate the next hours. Your beauty is still vivid as ever and thats the only thing I can be glad for.... the strength of your presence still, like you will still walk into the room after 365 days of trying to remember that you won't. love you and miss you. such pain today. x

I wrote you a little song Tanja
All my love
XJosh

Hey Tan

I miss you!!!
It was so nice to meet Theo and feel a little closer to you for a time.
You really did surround yourself with wonderful, caring, creative people, thankyou for sharing them. You changed everything and continue to in different ways.
Love always, hope ya dancin’
Xjosh