tribute

Tomorrow we celebrate your life. It's still completely unreal so I have been fine now for some time, although I have no idea how our tribute will affect me. you are so vivid still. It's kind of like we are playing at all this and I'm ready for you to come back now. I have you in my ear now...'no, dont write that, put this..., no, thats not me, sounds silly' etc. It's turning to Autumn now, outside and inside me.. as the reality slowly sets in after a loud summer. I wonder what you would want me to do tomorrow, what to say to everyone, how can we create some kind of phoenix from the situation... strength, courage, compassion and an renewed curiosity in places, things, ultimately people.. strangers and loved ones.
I feel supported and encouraged by you every day. I miss you x