lanterns

Here is a pic of the sky lanterns we sent off here in Brighton with wishes for Tanja and for our own futures.

My big day! thought some of you might like to see a moment of sheer joy at this time. sending love x theo

SIEMPRE EN MI RECUERDO

¡Hola Tanja, querida amiga!
No se como empezar este recordatorio...
Me invade la nostalgia al recordar los momentos vividos...
Un escalofrio me recorre el cuerpo...
Quisiera que fuera un sueño...
Pero es realidad...
Ya no estas, te has ido!!!
Cierro mis ojos y te veo...
llena de alegria...
de energia...
de vida...
Asi es como siempre te recordare!!!!!
Seguro que mi amor y cariño te llegara estes donde estes, porque siempre estaras conmigo.

XOXOXOXOXOXO...

smoking

and to think of the hard time she gave me about smoking and here is all this evidence, gorgeous photos captured in the act, confessions from sascha.
How did she manage to remain looking so sweet and innocent, the cheeky devil. God she was good.
We had a tribute that cut me to shreds and amazing to see the Sydney Opera House packed with friends and dear ones.
Thankyou magic team who gave all to give her voice.
We smoke and drunk ridiculously and have now today honoured our promise to give up in her name.

Even now she is getting me, but cheeky or otherwise I love the iron rod of strength she brings to me, wish to have just one more touch. Love you baby, come on lets slow dance around the kitchen just ONE more time again.
xxxxx

Tanja the student and my Wedding... today!

I just had to post this as it's so, so beautiful.... sent to me today by Ainhoa. Its from Rambert School in 1996......
I married Ben today!! the sun shone full pelt all day and its was simply glorious. Loved ones sat in a circle for the village Hall ceremony. We had filled the space with white and green flowers and white bunting. We started with a tribute to Tanja. everyone had a candle and we lit each one... candle to candle...sharing the flame. Once complete, we held a silence for her and on blowing out, retained the memory of that flame inside each of us burning brightly. It was beautiful. she was so present in my heart. Ben and I managed to have a day of joy and everyone stood to read, sing, and share thoughts with awe-inspiring open heartedness and clarity (photo to follow) xxxx I will be thinking of each of you on Monday in Sydney and wish you so much courage and the ability to be light hearted between the dark moments, such an amazing virtue of our dear dear friend. x

Tanja

Not long after first meeting Tanja she had me laying down with an ear candle protruding from the side of my head. She wasted no time in her life. She was and will remain a force of nature.

Many passing moments of every day are devoted to thinking of Sol, Theo, friends too numerous to mention and of course Tanja's family.

Kyle.

Tanja,
thought about you again last night and this morning and many times between, a thought that traps all the others away.
I think of watching you walking down the street just after we'd first met and how I thought "wohw that woman radiates beauty without even trying!" That's how it seemed, you shone in the everyday every bit as much as you shone on stage...a lot! Then seeing your work that first solo with Cristina and how much of an impact it had on me. I hope I didn't let shyness get the better of me when I told you about that one.
I will continue to marvel at your wonder, beauty and intelligence and miss the fluttery felling before coming to dance with you and the wonderful creatures who gather around.
I think of your warm smile and knowing eyes. I will miss getting to know you better. Rest well
x

Tanja was, by far, one of the best huggers EVER. I'm sure you all know that and I'm sure you'll all miss them as much as I will. She somehow managed to envelope herself around you and, in that five second embrace, you were reminded that life is a beautiful thing indeed. I also enjoyed the way she would glare at Sol when he pinched a cigarette from me, but would then sneak a few drags as soon as Sol was out of sight.

Schlafen sie gut schöne schmetterling!

Sol, stay strong my friend. For those times when life hits it's bleakest moments, there's a whole lot of us who promise to stay strong with you and for you!

xx much love xx

A piece of your heart

You get to know someone, experience them, fall in love with them in many capacities and they become an imprint in your heart.
If that someone you love dies they take that piece of your heart you gave so carefully then so very freely.
Tanja has taken with her that piece of my heart and in its place she has left a gift...
a piece of hers filled with her memory and her spirit. I cherish that piece. Through this I know she will never be far away. She has done this with everyone she met, from close friends to distant encounters. Through her I hold a piece of everyone she loved with me.
In her life she brought those she held close together and together we will remember her.
I will miss you Tanja and hold you in my heart forever.

Sol, my friend, you are truly remarkable! I love you so very much.
I know she is so proud of you right now.

To everyone...
Kia Kaha (be strong)
Aroha
Craig

INSPIRED

I was 15 and 2 weeks, i lived in the country and i got to see the city..... at night , quiet. Seated in a dark room wich wasnt a theatre ready to see a performance, seemed unusuall for the otherwise STRICTLY ballet watcher. It was Garry Stewarts "birdbrain" and the star to me was Tanja. I ran in to there "back stage area" (or black room) to immediately approach her and beg for her autograph..........I didnt need to. The second i entered the room a chubby 15 year old boy saw a beautiful, exquisite being running at me, i said 'can i have yo' , she said 'i love autographs!' among many lovely things she said to me that night, i was affected and changed by her performance.
Little did i know 4 years later i would be dancing Birdbrain and have a wonderfull connection,friendship, fantasia, and admiration for tanja for not the performer she is but the human i got to know, that everytime i saw her was felt more and more inspired to follow my dreams, and ambitions.
Now a note for tanja, where ever you are i know that you know we all love you and you are missed terribly. Your loss has left a mark, we will remember you always and you will be with us always.

Urgent- call for images

Ok folks,
I'm sorry to say we need any images you would like shown earlier than the deadline I gave you. I know many of you are overseas and asleep right now. If you are online when you wake up, send anything asap.

We do have plenty of fantastic and beautiful pictures of our angel lady, so dont worry its going to be fabulous, whatever imput we get from those who find out in time is just an added bonus.

All my love,
A

call for images

Dear Friends,

If any of you have special photos of Tan you would like to be included in a photo montage which will be running in the foyer of the Sydney Opera House on Monday, please forward them to

tanjarocks@yahoo.com

by 8pm Friday.

You can continue to send them after that but I cant be sure they will be in the mix.

With love and respect,
A

notes from an airport

sometimes.......

TANJA
occured to me as a God.

I never really allowed myself to believe she could love me. Because she seemed like a Great, so she must have been out of my reach. But she sent me kisses and I touched her long fingers.

Even with my fear between us she loved me.

She held me as fundamental in some of her brilliant work, and and she made me into more than I could comprehend. I knew her to be the biggest future contributor to international theatre alive, and I put all my hopes on her.

To me she was a God because I never had Faith like this before. Her creative genius was unquestionable to me. Her power and passion were unfathomable to me. Her penetrating goodness, her soul-spliting work ethic, her fast and tremendously flexible thought processes.

She demanded excellence and she walked as a demonstration of Greatness.

Our grief is endless but our transformation is perpetual. She is forever caught on this earth as our saviour. We are robbed and yet suspended in an anticipation so intense it is Bliss.

My Gracious Leader, I am obsessed with you for my duration. Your memory will lead me further than I think I can go at every turn.


and other times........
I know you are not God. i know you are a dag. i know you are hilarious. i know i love you when we are not at work.
i dont know how to approach this loss. if i dont worship you now, then you are just Tanny who went. I know thats what happened but that is not ok. I need you to be God to me.

we dance for you

Dear Tanja,
This morning we dance for you. Here in Syd we dedicate this mornings AusdanceNSW class to you and in honour of your generosity, spirit and resonant inspiration that has influenced so many. I'll play the music I know you loved whilst working with DV8 together. The dance class community has been touched by your creativity many times and many have texted to say they'll be there. Of course! "Ah, der!". You my friend are so loved. Emotions rise in me with without warning with the sudden loss of you and your magic, and when they do, I close my eyes, slow down to a stop, breathe and picture you and your smile. That smile that was always lifted into a gleam of sincerity from those cheekily vibrant eyes...tears flow from mine now, they dry, and whilst I feel my heart hurting I also feel it lifted to do something human, humane and life-affirming. You affirmed my life, I hope you know how many affirm yours now. This morning that same smile I will always remember will radiate among us all as a force of love as we dance for you. Rockin' for you this morning. Sending you love too from all participants I know are sending you love individually in bucket loads. Feel the love beautiful Tanja, feel the love you've created! Yesterday I found out that Back From Front was successful in being funded for its production. Such mixed emotions at such a time but I find happiness in thoughts this morning that we will now dedicate this work to you as we move through to its completion. The enormous contributions, ceative voice and encouragement you and Sol have made to this work in its first 2 development stages remain in the piece still and will be heard through us. This fills me with clarity and a soft commitment to ensuring that hope is written more into the work. Hope beyond the superficial. Hope as a back bone strength as we survive you but embrace your immense beauty forever. You resonate with us. I love you, Dean

Tanja really rocks

Thoughts

The Little Prince, Antoine De Saint-Exupery

"That will be so amusing! You will have five hundred million little bells, and I shall have five hundred million springs of fresh water ..." And he too said nothing more, because he was crying... "Here it is. Let me go on by myself."

Searching for meaning, searching for what could make sense ..................................... ????
'It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye' :

sounds like tanja

Tanja, I wrote this for you. You'd be the first to say to me: 'it's so melancholy and intense and that's good!' Dance with it, bathe in it, I have so many sounds and songs still to give you. With love and a musical hand to guide you, send you...

And Sol, my fabulous friend and creative comrade, these sounds are here for you too. In the silent spaces, let the notes ring out.

Jason

x

Welcome HOME my long legged lovely
the light in my life returns
see you at lunch
enjoy the spacious long hot shower
and think of me on your skin

love infinity ulli xx

Love You!

Tanja,

There are some people that I take for granted in this world but you were never one of those people. Whenever we spent time together I was always fully present because I knew that I was in the presence of someone truly unique and special. You were my friend, my mentor, and my inspiration. I can’t imagine how many hundreds of hours I have spent this year daydreaming about how wonderful next year was going to be for you, for us and for your audiences. All the research we had done together and talks and ideas were leading to something unbelievable and explosive!
But to stop myself from falling too deep I just have to think of how incredibly lucky and privileged I was to know you. Wow, I really stumbled on some good fortune . Thankyou thankyou Sol for bringing me into both of your lives it has been a true honour and so much fun!
It will take me some time to process just how much I have learnt from you Tanja about life, love, art, passion, work and everything else. I always thought you were crazy to believe in me the way you did but you did. You believed in me and listened to me and valued me and let me know it. Thankyou. You have filled me with confidence, passion and conviction and you have changed my life forever! I am mourning the loss of your future work, the loss of a mentor but most of all the loss of a friend. That crazy lanky woman that would come into my life, fill it with wonder and fly off to fill another! I love you and will love you always!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xxx Josh

this morning the last dream i had was of you
looking cheeky and georgeous
in jeans and a green top
eyeing me through a doorway

was a beautiful way to wake up

i thought it was only me who could see how pure and bold your spirit lived
i cherished that knowledge and kept it hidden like my favourite treasure
now i see everyone knew
everyone knew you
could see you
admired you
loved you
had secret crushes
was in awe of your brilliance
amazed by your ability and humility
your charm
your vision

late thus nite i rushed out of bed to my notebook with the answer
wrote furiously
made sense of everything
and slept

we are bound by your incredible life and presence
im trying not to get christ like
but you show the way
you live with constancy
ferocity
an open heart
you live in your work
you live

on friday every gesture made me think of you
everytime anyone did a movement with any lyracism
you were on the street
in the markets
in my wrist
in the light coming through an unwashed window

with love and constancy
always and for all
julian

to beautiful T

i'm sitting by a window, not even seeing the view
when a tall thin figure walks past me, it was beautiful you
you shared your name so did i, you hugged me straight away
you welcomed me to your friendship, whithout knowing me before that day
time past our meetings briefend, distance kept us apart
but every time i saw you, i saw me in your heart


on thursday the 16th at about 11.30pm, craig was going through our old photo albums when he found a photo of Tanja and i dancing in a night club in 2001, the happyness that rushed through me in seeing it again, and how much fun i had in her presence, every time we were together, thank you for being in my life and allowing me in yours...
my love goes out to all. malcolm xxx

Art and White Snow Boots

Dearest Tanja,
I remember vividly the first time I saw you. Returning from living o/s for a long time the current dance landscape was unknown to me, so I went to see this new ADT and there you were! You radiated beyond the theatre, you flew high, rolled like a demon, glided on gossamer, shone out with personality and pizazz in every fibre. Simply put 'stunning'. My choreographic gastronomy salivated to create a solo for you. I should not have hesitated to ask, I should not have feared.

I am so fortunate to have been able to get to know you just a little. Through the 'Ignition' seasons, witnessing your choreographic talent blossoming in Adelaide, dancing some C.I. together, catching up in London and swimming in the sea pool in Sydney, Sol walking you along the edge of the pool like an elegant trapeze artist, debating art making processes, the role of the director, chewing the grisly bits of philosophy about why we make what we make, and even why we make art at all. The silly song I made up about your red blow up bath cushion, those white snow ugg boots you adored and wore until they disintegrated, your fabulous earring collection. Sol and yourself dancing ballroom at Bryans birthday in that bar on Hindley street. A partnership to behold!

I am so fortunate.

I danced again on Sunday. I just had to go to the underscore. I danced with you in my heart, you were in the room, smiling, playful. I danced without hestiation, I must not put off, or delay, but follow your inspirational lead to dive in and get wet with life and living again. To dream your dance and dance your dream.

I picture you and all I can do is smile then my heart is heavy. Tanja you continue and will always be a huge inspiration, a huge big warm fuzzy in my heart.

Sol my heart bursts for you, Tanjas dear dear friends all over the world also.

Dear Tanjas family my deepest condolences, you must be terrific and amazing people also to have raised this wonderful person!! My family's hearts and thoughts are with you now and for the coming months. Please know she was much loved, thankyou for sharing her with us!

All our love
Helen Christian and Grace

my dancing petal

My dearest bella Tanja, I remember the first time we met - our mumas persuading us to 'hang out'... I was dreading it but you turned out to be pretty cool. Who knows if we'd still be mates if one of us hadn't passed our driving test but luckily the best drivers pass second time round. You in your white Polo, me in my brown Mini and the world in front of us.

I'm wearing the ring you gave me before you left for Oz. It's silver with a big heart. I'll treasure it always – you have the biggest heart of anyone I know and you'll always have a place in mine.

I've admired every inch of what you've done and achieved in your life. You're amazing. You're an inspiration. And I've loved every moment spent with you – you introduced, welcomed and educated me in your dancing world.

You and Sol have been my special dancing duo – soul mates forever. My heart goes out to you Sol. And to your family. You're loved by so many.

I'm so happy you shared my birthday with me and that we got drunk on tequila before you left town.... and thanks to you I've flown upside down in a plane!

There's so many fantastic memories – never to be forgotten. You will shine forever.

I miss you. I love you... and then some

your bud Rosie xxx

DREAM LOVER. I danced a duet in a developmental workshop with Tanja, in which we both recalled dreams and put together a movement phrase based upon those dreams. Then Tanja and I held hands and tried to recreate that choreography. We shared a very intimate connection through that process,and though I never told her what my dream was about, and vice versa, I felt amazingly bonded to her. I am honoured to have known Tanja, to have danced with her, and to have shared a drink with her. She will forever live on within and around me.

To my dear Tanja,
You are a luminous light.
You have touched so many peoples lives, I wish you knew that, because you have made a huge difference in this world, however large or small it may be.
You are my hero.
You inspire me everyday.
We have shared so many things together, only you and I will ever know these things, moments, special moments. I am so honoured and privileged to have known you.
I feel complete and full when I think of our friendship. I will hold you so close to my heart for as long as I live.
I will never forget your essence.
I realise now how much of you is in everything I do, think, say, love, hear, feel... every little thing reminds me of you and of something that you loved, said, shared or even didn't understand.
I feel like I am on my way to see you. To tell you that everything is going to be OK, like we always do. You have always supported me 100% in everything. Without you I know that I wouldn't be the person or dancer that I am today. You have guided me and I am proud to say that I have done the same for you. I know that because you have told me and I am so happy for that.
I have so many memories flooding through my head and being. I am afraid that I can't remember some, because there have been countless, and what if I forget more? I don't have the opportunity to remember with you anymore, like we would.
It's OK though, like I said, the essence of you remains and it fuels me.
God we had fun! You were so much fun!
When I am able to remove the selfishness of not being able to experience you in the flesh for myself, everything feels OK and calm. It's the people left behind that loved you, that suffer, not you. I don't feel so sad when I can grasp this concept. If everyone could feel this, it would be OK. I hope that it can be this way sometime soon, so that everyone who adored you can painlessly, just ADORE you again. It's a wonderful feeling..
You are so inspiring and you have lived an incredible life. You made it bigtime in every possible way.
I love you and I miss you!
Thank you.
All my love, feelings, energy, "eeewrrgh squeeze the puppy"
Your friend always
Kristina xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxooxox

Dear Tanja.....

EACH OF US CARRIES THE IMPRINT OF THE FRIEND MET
ALONG THE WAY; IN EACH THE TRACE OF EACH. FOR GOOD
OR EVIL IN WISDOM OR FOLLY EACH STAMPED BY EACH

text; To my friends, Primo Levi

Dear Tanja,

Wow!!! what a remarkable and extraordinary woman. such grace in movement like
that of a winged creature in flight. the leader of a flock guiding a global journey of adventure
and mischief with visionary light.
a goddess....one who transforms our earthly existence into heavenly delights of laughter and playfulness.
you're our superhero with whom we can call on to challenge our foes and fears, showing us strength and courage in the face of unbelievable adversity.
your creative artistry inspires the need for us all to look beyond what's in front of us and step further into our imagination.

but most importantly you are our daughter, our sister, an aunt, a friend who we cherish and love forever, for ever the nights grow long we rejoice when we see your light on the horizon.
my heart will forever be full of your warmth, love and friendship

mooma xxxx

awfulness

Always so curious, always seeking, always asking, always wondering how to know more, how to be more, that's one of the things she gave us, the way she breathed life in and constantly moved out into the world looking for more and just when more had come and found her she was gone.
A quiet glass of wine after seeing an awful show and talking seriously and importantly about why the show was awful and about how we had to really work hard and question everything and love what we did and not just do it and fend off awfulness with all our might. A serious artist, a real one.
Many tears all across the World for you Sol, Theo and family

a beautiful journey....

On Friday morning, I was in a yoga class. I couldn't have known why at that point, but my body was drained to exhaustion, and my head ached and I could not draw an ounce of energy from my depleted mind body and soul. Later in the day, I spoke with Lina, who spoke of her early morning jog and described to me the struggle to force herself through paces that usually flowed with uplifted ease. Tanja's golden light had left us and our hearts had fallen into an abyss. Her beautiful journey with all of us had ended.

Today I felt a ripple of energy return to me. I know Tanja wants me to use it. Today every breath that fills my body is beautiful and rich. Today I breath for Tanja. And each passing breath brings me closer to her. Today she is far away. But tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, as time passes, we are closer with every breath.

My love and energy to you all..
Antony

The loss of a guiding light

Dear Sol,Theo and Tanja's family and
dear friends,

These were Tanja's words to me shortly
after she received news of her appointment
to Sydney Dance..
"I am in London now, and very excited and
all my nervous system is going bananas!
I can hardly grasp what this all means...
Now it all begins...
I definitely look forward to chatting with
you when I return,(on 20 June) and for
sure I look forward to nurturing an open
and supportive relationship!!"


Not knowing her as well as many of you
who have written about her I can still
say, without hesitation, that Tanja made
an incredible impression on me. I was lucky
enough to see her perform with DV8 in Paris,
bump into her and Sol in New York and
see and chat to them both just two weeks
ago at Lucy Guerin's opening night.
The positive strength of their partnership
was tangible.

We (myself and Force Majeure) were keenly
looking forward to the contribution she
was about to make to the Sydney arts scene.
As she said.....it was all about to begin.

It's simply incomprehensible that this has
happened, particularly to one as full of
promise and talent as Tanja.
My thoughts and sympathy are with you Sol
and Tanja's family and friends.
I have had a long conversation with Lloyd
Newson who is totally devastated by the
news as is Gabriel Castillo.
She will be sorely missed for a very long
time and a generation of dancers have
lost a guiding light.
I send our love and symapthy,
Kate Champion and Force Majeure

TLKO

T.L.K.O not only our joint initials but also our fashion label which we called Tender Loving Knock Out! Just one of the many hilarious fun and exciting things Tanja and me did in that 9 fabulous months we spent in Dv8 together. The whole cast loved her so much, I remember once she fell over on stage and I waited for Lloyds reaction nervously at notes the next day. I can't remember his exact words but it was something about how stunningly she fell and how brilliantly she dealt with it. Thats Tanja!
I miss her so much and wish I had of gone to visit her after swimming last week instead of saying I needed some time with Tom and Jimmy. I wish so much.
Lastly my heart is forever broken and I wish i could give you a massive cuddle Sol. Tom and I are here for you if you need anything. Theo I never met you but Tanja spoke of you often. she loved you alot. Kurt and Gerlinder I am so sorry. she was amazing, and as a mother i struggle to know how you are coping. my love to you all.
well my sweet chookie from curling wands to whipped cream I love you always and your memory will always make me smile. KO.xxxxxxxxxx

Such a huge loss

Dear Sol, Theo, Tanja's friends and family,

My heart goes out to you at this enormous, shattering loss. The whole Australian dance world is in shock and everyone is sending love and hopes of strength and calm to you.

My personal memories of Tanja are as radiant as those which everyone seems to share. Such a beautiful, bright, inspiring person, who couldnt help but light up every room she stepped into.

I was lucky enough to witness Tanja's optimism and inspiration up close througout the process of her recruitment to Sydney Dance Company. From the first time she came over to talk about her thoughts of applying- sitting on my lounge room floor, with my wee boy pottering around her, making us both jumpy with excitement about her plans and ideas, to the graceful, calm, intelligent way she handled the media upon her first press outing and huge exposure. Tanja was always herself at every step along that difficult road and I was in awe of such composure and certainty of herself in one so young. An impressive person in every respect.

Sol, you were a rock throughout the process and your partnership was so true and clear and inspiring. I cannot imagine how you feel now and only hope you can be surrounded with the love you will be sure to receive from so many people.

I hope this blog can honour Tanja and that her light continues to shine on us all, as Theo said.

Sophie

Good bye Tanja

I was moving home about 6 weeks ago, and was packing up my flat and I found an old video of our final class at Rambert where we all dressed up and celebrated our final days at collage. It was great to watch and see all of us so happy, with out a care in the world, dancing.
It was sent to me from Tanja to where i was living in Cape Town. I was so happy to have it as we all had such happy memories from there.
As usual for me i never kept in contact.
Inside the video case was a wonderful, happy letter from her with her address on it in Australia. I was going to write to her recently, and hope that she was still living there.
I am so sorry that i never got to say hi again and catch up,
I am truly blessed to have known such a wonderful person, and shared such good times. Like when we went to her flat in London on a great summers day and had a picnic in the park, there were lots of us from Rambert doing cart wheels and playing.
I wish i got to know her again.
I send all my love to you Theo, and my thoughts and wishes go out to Tanja's family and friends.
It really is a crying shame.xxx

Dear, Tanja

Tanja, I still remember very clearly the first day we met at school. You spoke more than 3 languages , you were so original, unbelievably cool yet witty and funny, tall, slender and too charming to be true. In my life, just simply i never met person like you before.... As you were in room, that area seemed to become the hottest and coolest place..... I just admired that your charisma so much and just loved to be around!!
you touched and inspired so many people just being around!! You were like the sunshine, coolest sunshine..

Now you are gone and we will miss you...but I shall remember of you and what we did together(how much we laugh, cried, danced, talked, shopped and traveled)... you see, Tanja, I just a bit thought about you, you already start shining in me... you are with us

To her family , I send my deepest condolences and share many tears for Tanja

love
kio

I will never forget you....

Hey So i have never written on a blog before..... Wish it could have been about something else something that didn't mean so much but here goes ouch!!

So there is this magnificant YOGA teacher in Adelaide called Simi and we learnt this song which in one way was so daggy but so loaded and so wonderful...... When Tanja was leaving ADT on England tour we got her this yoga matt and all wrote on it and just before the show we stood around her and sang this song!! So it goes in a loud smiling voice,imagine many people,

"LISTEN LISTEN TO MY HEARTS SONG"
"LISTEN LISTEN TO MY HEARTS SONG"
"I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU"
"I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU"

"LISTEN LISTEN TO MY HEARTS SONG"
"LISTEN LISTEN TO MY HEARTS SONG"
"I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU"
"I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU"

AND IT JUST KEEPS GOING................................................................................4 eva my heart and head

HUGE THOUGHTS TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE MY FELLOW TANJA FRIENDS!

We will always be thinking of you!!!!

I fell empty and shocked!!!!
Theo this is an amazing idea for all of us to be able to share our thought about a beautiful girl and beautiful dancer a beautiful person and most importantly a beautiful friend Tanya was to many of us and, especially, to those very very close friend she had across the world
My thoughts are with you Theo and of course her family!
All I can do, right now, is trying to celebrate what a great challenging and colorful life Tanya had!!!
Thinking of you!!!!! Elena

A loss for words

I don't really know what to say. Even though we only spent a year together at Rambert, you made such a strong impression on me. That smile coming around a corner was enough to brighen a gloomy London sky. In a year filled with so much talent, there was something special about you that told me you were going to "rock the world" in a different way.
I got the email from Eleanor and I lost my breath. Death is a strange thing that I still can't make sense of, except for the fact that I know it happens at some point.
The world will miss you, your talent and of course that beautiful smile.

To your Family, I send my deepest condolences. I will share many tears for Tanya.
Theo, my thoughts are with you. I think this is a wonderful thing to do for her.
Much love,
Warren

love to you Tanja

right now I can't find the words t odetail my feelings but I will when they become coherent.
my memory of Tanja is filled with nothing but quiet awe. I was touched and amazed by you so many times Tanja. I love you. you have touched so many and will no doubt continue to. this blog is an excellent idea Theo and over the coming weeks, as we all gain clarity and strength we will meet you here in cyber space Tanja to remind you, and one another of the countless good memories and inspiration you helped to ignite in us all. my deepest love and support to Sol and Tanja's parents as you move through this indescribably hard time - you are loved and embraced. til soon

For Tanja x

Today I bought the beautiful dress you had planned to wear to my wedding. I found myself telling the shop girl the whole story and she was so devastated but also honoured. I'm so sad you wont be there to see all our friends together. I cant really make it real this evening, writing seems to help although all words feel like naff films or bad song lyrics. over dinner, Ben and I listened to the tapes you made me when we were 16. we were able to laugh at your nerdy humour and english accent. I hope to play those to Sol at some point. how emmbarrasing!! so strange to think of us sitting at that same table with Lee less than a month ago. I'm so dying to know what your making of it all right now... the news bulletins, my calls with Gail Owen!!, the world wide response, my sitting up in bed convinced you were there sending messages to my mobile phone!! your dairy milk video. my ability to carry on shopping around Brighton with George like its a bloody normal day. He wished he had met you....you've touched people you've never even met! now thats talent!!
When I asked you for some sign last night as I lay awake, the room illuminated and my heart raced.... It was the hall light and the neighbour going to work.... too funny. but still I've decided to take that light as some reminder of your spirit. whenever there is a crack in the clouds, a glint on a glass, a special sunset or a blanket of stars, I will know you are there with me. I have to let myself have this. Your curiosity, generosity, wonder, determination, artistry, patience, impatience + fearlessness inspire me now more than ever. I feel pushed by you already to make my creative ideas manifest, to show my affection for those I love and to grasp my life by its balls, live the dream and have the adventure.
You knew me the best my goldest, my chookie (never knew how to spell that), my touchy Tanja, my Olive Oil, my very best friend. I just wish I could glimpse you as an old eccentric lady ......you would do it so well.
Lastly to say how proud I am of you. The big job! your loving gorgeous Sol. your jet setting life, your honest brilliant work, your wonderful wonderful friends and family.
We will all keep you so vivid in our minds and are hearts stretched wide. I miss those brilliant hugs.
As you wrote... Tanja, "I more than love you" x Theo